Here and There

In the middle of reading a decent article on canine cognition in Time, I realized one prominent factor that informs my love of dogs — I pretty much am one. Well, I’m pretty damn close.

It’s a long-running joke between my fiancée and me, that I’m a so-called slave to my libido. I always respond with, “Hey, in my mind, if you’re hungry, eat. If you’re tired, sleep.”

When I got to the part of the Time article in which the author lays out his theory of why dogs “kiss” their owners when the owners gets home, I was once again reminded of the program in a dog’s mind: eat, sleep, play. Eat, sleep, play. If a dog isn’t doing one of those, it’s doing one of the other two. Okay, okay, mating might make an appearance somewhere in the mix, as it would for us.

But that trinity sure does sound familiar. Instead of “play,” I spend a lot of time reading and writing. “Fucking off,” some might say. Fair enough. But I see similarities. When I’m reading, my body might be at rest, but my mind is “playing,” wandering through whatever thought topics I might be reading or thinking about.

And don’t even get me starting on eating and sleeping. Sometimes I think calling me a “slave” is being judicious.

Anyway, a pretty good read, especially if, like me, you consider yourself enough of a dog lover to be a bit of an animal yourself.

Photo: The canine who currently rules my world, Gida.

Such a terrible human being I feel justified in making fun of how ugly he is.

My vote, by a Michael Jordan longshot, is James Inhofe, R-Okla. My disgust has driven me as far as to think about giving up everything, moving to Oklahoma, and doing all I can to help convince Oklahomans to fire this utter piece of shit.

But who’s your most-reviled senator? I’m curious.

Find a list of all 99 senators here. Answer in comments, por favor*.

* Inhofe would probably have a huge problem with my use of Spanish here, to cite just one example of his terribleness.

One of my favorite songs, sung by children at a public school in New York City. I’m without words.

You know what’s un-American? Torture.

You know what’s socialistic? Medicare.

You know what’s shameful? When the government does nothing.

You know what’s pathetic? Incompetence.

You know what’s Soviet-like? Gulags, indefinite detention*, extraordinary rendition.

* To be fair, the guy I voted for in 2008 recently endorsed this shitty policy. For shame.

What the right thinks the left is up to: Killing seniors, babies, fetuses, the disabled, and (who knows?) gun-toting conservatives.

What the left thinks the right is up to: Protecting the enormous profits of health care industry* executives.

Not sure where you fit in in this debate? Read those two sentences again and decide for yourself. Think about ulterior motives, think about transparent motives. Then act.

* I don’t hyphenate “health care” here based on years of working with the AP Stylebook.

Sniff around a bit and the truth will come forth in the form of her children’s names: Track, Bristol, Willow, Piper, and Trig.

Call me a traditionalist, but no self-respecting mother names their kids such outlandish names. In naming a child, a parent should be thinking of the child, not their own delusions of grandeur.

These are among the clearest signs of the woman’s self-delusional, egotistical, and dim-witted being. You go, girl!

Awesome:

She left just about everyone baffled by her resignation as governor of Alaska on Friday, a good year-and-a-half before her first term ends.

Everyone and their mother has put forth one or more explanations, ranging from some lurking or existing scandal to political brilliance. I’ll let you google those.

I’d just like to add my $0.02 to the betting pool.

I think Sarah Palin resigned because she’s taking the advice of terrible advisors, those suggesting that in doing so, her supporters will solidify behind this maverick move, and those 40.1 percent extra she’ll need to win the presidency (in addition to the 10 percent who are still hanging on) in 2012 will be so excited by this “bold” move that they will rally behind her, too.

In other words, there’s no new scandal. She gets to use the excuse that the media are beating up on her family, and that she’s resigning to protect them. Never mind that running for president will put her even more front-and-center for the media spotlight. She gets to claim teh awesome of mother cub, then return as Momma Maverick in a couple of years in a formal run for the presidency.

My only response: Go Mitt! Go Mike!

That’s right — this here blog started at its present outpost on the internet four years ago today. As you can see, regular posting fell by the wayside sometime after last year’s presidential election (love that drunken iPhone post). Some day soon, I hope to offer an early assessment of Barack Obama’s presidency. But if you want to know what happened to my propensity for website maintenance, well, it’s very much alive. Well, some might say. I spend most of that energy helping to moderate Muni Diaries. Here and There daily posting has reverted, more or less, to Twitter. Find me there.

Well, well. Today came the news that Don Fisher, founder of the Gap, et al., has decided to scrap plans to build a world-class art museum in San Francisco’s Presidio to house his world-class art collection.

Without going into detail, and off the top of my head, the proposed museum now joins the likes of BART in Marin County, light-rail on Geary street, and, most recently, American Apparel in the Mission district.

Pat yourselves on the back, San Franciscans. Never will you be forced to progress or enter some modicum of normal, decent, civilized society. No, your streets can remain filthy, your homeless can remain outdoors, your mentally ill can go without treatment, and your non-native, eucalyptus-filled forests can remain “pristine.” Oh, and you can keep protesting whatever the hell  you feel like, all at once. Michael Jackson died? What better time to speak out against land mines in Afghanistan?

The city I live in and love is a fucking embarrassment.

On some of my bike rides to and from work recently, I’ve been thinking about how seemingly difficult it’s been for Barack Obama to enact parts of his agenda — health care, tax hike on the wealthy, ending corporate-tax loopholes, drawing down in Iraq, funding the closing of Guantánamo Bay, to name a few.

Then I thought back to how George W. Bush really did seem to just show up and start kicking ass, cutting off funding for overseas family-planning clinics who advocate abortion (which, to be fair, Obama has since restored), cutting taxes almost to the point of eliminating them, and (ahem) getting us mired in this whole Iraq mess in the first place.
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hi AT&T,

how r u? i’m home. same place u dropped those callz last week. tryin to txt my girl. on my iphone. can;t. awsum!

kthxbai

Again: BIG distinction here between “newspapers” and “news organizations.” But, as usual, The Daily Show nails it:

Oh, awesome. Did ya hear? The United States Postal Service will be raising the cost of first-class stamps starting Monday. The current cost? $0.42. The increase? Let me give you a magnifying glass: $0.02.

For a whopping grand total of $ANNOYING.

What is it with the U.S. Mint and the USPS keeping pennies on life support? Where’s the incentive in charging for them, not to mention doling them out in the form of change from stamp machines?

Memo to the Secretary of the Treasury and the Post Master General: This hard-working, tax-paying, minimal mail customer would gladly pay a healthily rounded $0.50 for a stamp. Hell, I use the mail so little, I’d be cool shelling out a dollar.

Yes, I would pay cash money to no longer have pennies in my life.

(Alternate post title: How HR screwed up my dental insurance)

Perhaps this post belongs on White Whine. I had a dentist appointment scheduled for the end of the month, and hadn’t yet received my new dental insurance information. My benefits kicked in May 1, you see. I had received medical and vision cards. Just no dental.

But as the appointment wasn’t until May 31, I figured I had plenty of time for the card to arrive at my house.

I asked a coworker yesterday whether she had got hers yet. She had. Something seemed fishy.

I spoke with HR today, and the rep read my address back to me, off by one digit. Awesome.

But this all reminded me: Why are we still filling out forms by hand? There are so many reasons why we shouldn’t be doing this, namely:

1. It increases the chances of error (see: this post)
2. It wastes paper
3. It wastes time
4. It creates at least twice as much effort as is necessary

If you’re an office, and you ask people to fill out a form that you will then enter into a computer, do us all a favor, please: Stop. Just set a computer terminal out where people can access it, and let us fill our own damn information in.

Okay, carry on …