When Old Enemies Become ‘Friends’
A certain person from my past recently “friended” me on Facebook. This came after a steady stream of Southwest High (Fort Worth) alumnus had been contacting me, and it had actually been a pleasant experience — catching up, reminiscing, whatnot.
But this person came along and posed a challenge. Gee, the last thing I remember about them was how, sprinkled throughout high school, they taunted me and threatened to beat me up.
It’s really hilarious now. If it had come to blows, I would’ve been okay, maybe got roughed up a bit, but probably dealt equal damage to my adversary. I wasn’t scared of this person, more like just annoyed. The thing was, I couldn’t figure out why he didn’t like me. It was a bit like the cantina scene in Star Wars, only Obi Wan wasn’t there to slice this person’s arm off.
We had been friends in middle school, up until about seventh grade, when he quit skateboarding and became “preppy,” ditching me and other friends. And for what, I’m not exactly sure.
But those were the days of defined interests and cliques. Yeah, they still exist today, but I guess we’ve all grown up.
Still, this person’s sudden emergence on Facebook posed a dilemma for me. I don’t wish evil upon too many people, but still, I wasn’t quite sure friend + this person went together very well.
In the end, I accepted, and will treat this “friendship” as a possible means of healing that past rift. I don’t expect miracles. But maybe he’ll prod through my Facebook profile and realize I’m not that big an asshole. Maybe he’s calmed his shit down.
Believe in redemption.
You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.
December 19th, 2008 at 1:57 pm
Hahaha, or maybe he needs to borrow some money or something.
December 24th, 2008 at 7:36 am
Wow. Of your “friends” on FB you’re either talking about me or 1 other guy. Since I don’t recall threatening many people in high school, I’m guessing its not me. Nevertheless, I have to say, of my memories of being “on the outside” or fringe of a clique, middle school was the worst. Ironically fitting in with those stereotyped as the most exclusive (the preps or whatever) was not the problem. I have bad memories of not fitting in with the guys I most identified with, mostly because I couldn’t shave the right parts of my head or get tattoos at age 12 lest my parents kick my a$$. You bring up the most interesting point about facebook, though – running into old, well let’s not call them “enemies” and exes. Hopefully, we’ve all grown up some – the guy I think we’re talking about certainly has – but maybe there’s a reason high school reunions are only once every 10 years.
December 24th, 2008 at 8:48 am
@Bill: Ha, nice detective work. No, I wasn’t talking about you. My memories have us being really good friends in early elementary school, the less-good friends in middle school, then more or less strangers in high school, albeit amicable strangers. You’re right about who I am talking about. I’d love to talk with him now. I don’t know too many people who took such a nasty tone with me so consistently through high school and even a few years following that. I’m not trying to play the victim here — I’m sure my childhood and adolescent actions confused the hell out of a lot of people. But after sixth grade or so, I toned it down on the random kick-some-guy’s-ass bit.
And this post was meant to address the fact that, where we last left off, this guy was a real ass to me. I do believe in giving people a fair shake, a chance to change. I’ve sure changed, and it wouldn’t be fair not to grant that allowance of someone else.
The post was meant to address a phenomenon that I’m sure happens to many people — the dilemma of how to handle this online occurrences, because they seem to pop up every once in a while.
Yeah, getting in touch with you again has been really cool. There was never a lot of ice between us, but it’s long since thawed. I still haven’t communicated with the guy the post is about. We’ll see how that goes, if it goes.
December 30th, 2008 at 7:23 pm
I’ve had this experience a handful of times with friends online, in the workplace, and in my social circles. For some odd reason one day, they decide to laugh at and insult us, then they begin to distance from us, then they end up totally ignoring us. Maybe they were feeling insecure and threatened by our confidence. Maybe they figured they would dump us for someone “better” in order to improve their social standing. But eventually they realize what they had in the first place, a good friendship with you. They also see how happy and real you are and they want a piece of that.
Great blog, Jeff! They all come back to us, don’t they? ;-)