Here and There

I can’t believe I’ve never written about this before. I will take this one to the grave with me.

How can a situation in which one object narrowly misses another be a near miss? It’s a near hit. It almost hit, thereby “nearly” hitting.

“Near miss,” to me, means something that was nearly a miss, therefore, a hit. But just barely. Not full-on.

Now, I’ve heard the explanations a thousand times. “In this instance, ‘near’ means narrow, as in ‘narrowly a miss.’”

No.

If narrowly is an adverb modifying “miss,” then so is “nearly.” Near, however, is an adjective. It describes what follows (in this argument, either “hit” or “miss”). What we are describing is something that was almost a hit, but just barely not. It was nearly a hit, therefore, a near hit.

Oh, I guess it’s cats vs. dogs. Some people (including myself) will never convinced otherwise..

Super-ultra-uber-cool stuff about a primitive form of communication, from The New York Times.

I swear, why didn’t I do a screenshot when I woke up at 8 this morning, but The New York Times ran a headline for the story of the attorney general’s overdue resignation with quote marks around the word “resigns.” Awesome. Just believe me, if you didn’t see it.

* My mom, fresh from a trip to Denali National Park, informed me very matter-of-factly the other night that “reindeer and caribou are the same animal.” Whoa, wait right there. When you say, “animal,” do you mean species, mom? “Well, the way it was explained to us was, a caribou is a nondomesticated reindeer.” Whoa, whoa, whoa, reindeer are domesticated? Reindeer actually exist? “Look it up. I’m just the messenger.”

Sure enough, when you wiki “caribou,” you’re lead to the entry for “reindeer,” whereupon you’re informed that they are members of the same family, and that, yes, mom, reindeer are domesticated caribou. Moose are members of the Cervidae family as well.

Here’s the rub, though: deer deer (think Bambi) is composed of the entire family Cervidae, which includes brockets, pudus, reindeer/caribou, and moose. Wow.

* I recall hearing something about this before (maybe on my parents’ last visit, as they love to tout all things Texas), but Fort Worth, my hometown, is experiencing a boom these days thanks largely to the discovery of natural gas in something called the Barnett Shale formation, which the city was built atop. Apparently the discovery, coupled with a rather new ability to drill horizontally, is making a lot of Texans rich.

* The theme here is “Mom Told Me So.” Last night over drinks at the splendorous San Francisco Hyatt, she told me about some catholic-priest-marriage-loophole, wherein a married Episcopalian minister can convert to Catholicism and stay married!!!

It’s a tough one to verify, but here are some clues.

* Courtesy daring fireball, the itso. (love it)

* I grew up wondering exactly what “gig ‘em” meant, in the sense of the Texas A&M sports slogan, “Gig ‘em, Aggies.” Mom did the favor of explaining, by way of dropping a “TCU rules” reference in there, that the term was coined during a football game between A&M and TCU, in which Aggie fans told their team to “gig ‘em,” a reference to a method of killing frogs. Yes, TCU’s mascot is the frogs.

* Sorry to incur another sports reference here, but I also learned the origin of the name of my college’s mascot, Bevo. Wiki dispels what was discussed last night, that some time way back University of Texas mascot (a longhorn bull) was stolen by students of the then-named Agricultural and Mechanical College of Texas. He was branded “13-0,” which was the score by which A&M beat UT years before. UT students then got the longhorn bull back and changed the brand to “Bevo.” Crazy? Dumb? Yes, yet I’m interested.

A few tidbits I picked up yesterday:

* Finished an article in the August 20, 2007, issue of The New Yorker about Asperger’s syndrome, a mild form of autism. The author, someone with the condition, describes its symptoms, which include “early precocity, a great ability to maintain masses of information, a lack of ability to mix with groups in age-appropriate ways, ignorance of or indifference to social norms, high intelligence, and difficulty with transitions, married to a preternatural ability to concentrate on the minutia of the task at hand.” Wow.

I read the article, well, because I try to read as much of the magazine as I have time for, but also on the specific recommendation of a coworker, who suggested another coworker had the condition. Ha!

* Late one night at work recently, I approached a third coworker for some small talk before the end of the shift. He’s an avid wikipeder, and had up on his monitor the “Platypus” entry. “Did you know they can sting with their tails?” he asked me. Apparently, these aquatic mammals have a venomous spur in their hind feet that can hurt people pretty badly. I remember a few years ago when I watch Sir David Attenborough’s Life on Earth series.

* Talked last night with my parents, who just returned from their first trip to Alaska. They saw Mt. McKinley, commonly known to be the highest point in all of North America, at 20,320 feet above sea level. What I learned is that to most Alaskans, the mountain is known simply as “Denali.” As in the SUV. As in the national park. Good to know.

A few years ago, I was shopping around for glasses, and had simultaneous realizations:

1) I’m a picky bitch.
2) Glasses are particularly hard to shop for.

I won’t go into detail about item 1 here. But it dawned on me that because glasses are worn by glasses-wearers every day (unlike other items of clothing and accoutrement), it is important to find a pair the wearer really likes. No half-assing when it comes to glasses.

There’s also the fact that this was circa 2002 or 2003, before eyewear fashion came back to its senses with modest designs. Everything then was either way too big, or too much those little German rectangular numbers.

Anyway, it also occurred to me recently that shoes (for most guys, at least) are the same way. Most of us tend to wear one or two pairs just about every day. And haircuts too, but less so for people who have enough hair to be able to wear it different styles from one day to the next, a concept that blows my mind.

No matter how bad the crime, seems like there’s always some jackoff around who’ll supply the world statements such as this, from Michael Vick’s lawyer, responding to Vick’s plea of guilty today in hope of receiving a reduced sentence for raising and killing fighting dogs:

“Watching Michael Vick go through this, even for a lawyer with my experience on these types of cases, is very painful,” Billy Martin, one of his defense lawyers, said in a telephone interview. “We find a young man in a predicament that should never have happened.

Watching Vick go through this? Give me a fucking break.

Bloomberg now saying he’s not only not running, but that even if he did, he couldn’t win.

“Nobody’s going to elect me president,” the NYC mayor said.

Is he possibly trying out a new tactic: pity?

* How are SPF levels determined? From listening to the Slate Explainer podcast, which I do from time to time: So what they do is get a little study group together, made up entirely of people who burn easily. There’s a scale for skin type, a spectrum ranging from blondes and redheads all the way to dark brown skin. The ones they use for the tests are on the light end, naturally. They simulate UV rays on a small patch of subjects’ skin, and see how long it takes to burn. Then they repeat the experiment with the product being tested and record the time it takes to burn. After a simple bit of math, they derive the SPF.

* The origin of the word “galaxy.” From a photo caption in the latest New Yorker. It comes from the Greek word for “milk,” or “galakt,” according to wikipedia.

* Not learned as much as reminded: “Your Love” (”I Don’t Want to Lose Your Love Tonight”) was written and performed by a band called The Outfield (who, amazingly, are still together). Heard the song at a bar the night before, and couldn’t for the life of me remember who it was.

Listening yesterday to pundits on Countdown with Keith Olbermann posit that Karl Rove is resigning from the White House to begin the work of trying to bat down a run for president by assumed-candidate Hillary Clinton is the best thing that’s ever happened to the frontrunner’s campaign. At least for me. I still don’t think she’s worthy of my primary vote in February, but I would actively campaign for her in a general election.

I should add that, to remind those who haven’t read it here yet, I decided a short time ago that there is no way I’m voting for any of the pygmies in the GOP camp. Rudy had been the only possibility, until he blew it.

This is the first installment of a new feature on Here and There, tentatively titled “mepedia.” I hope you enjoy.

These are some of the things I learned yesterday, Monday, August 13, 2007:

* Karl Rove will resign from the Bush administration at the end of August. Reactions are expected and generic, but my insight is that the “family” excuse is to politics what the “busy” excuse is to the rest of us. Sort of. At least in its transparency.

* Brooke Astor dies. Okay, “news” of a 105-year-old woman dying isn’t exactly, well, news. But I’d like to give my boss props for calling this one the night before (Sunday) on, as far as I can tell, absolutely no evidence. He also mentioned some friends of his at The New York Times who had Astor and Pavarotti on their death watch. Luciano lives another day.

* Finished an article in the August 13, 2007 issue of The New Yorker about Lesch-Nyhan syndrome, a rare, fucked-up disorder found only in males in which the sufferer is compelled to destroy himself. It manifests most readily in the eating of the fingers and lips. Article mentions a spectrum of self-mutiliating behavior that encompasses a bad habit of mine: eating cuticles till they bleed. Help! Danger!

* After going over a story on transit-oriented development somewhere in the Peninsula (in the city of San Mateo, I believe), a coworker told me about the idea of arcology, or massive structures of huddled humans living in a sustainable, ecologically sound way.

* From visiting the wikipedia page on arcology, I found the concept of the count noun, such as “cattle” or, formerly, “fish.” Never knew that term, but it’s handy for making people think I’m some kind of grammarian.

* Toward the end of the shift last night, a coworker informed me of Van Halen’s reunion tour, which former bassist Michael Anthony will unfortunately not be taking part in thanks to his sacking by Eddie van Halen earlier this year. The younger van Halen brother replaced the band’s longtime bassist (and proud purveyor of the Jack Daniels bass guitar) with none other than his own son, 16-year-old Wolfgang van Halen. Natch.

* Read somewhere that the new Minneapolis bridge(s) will have five lanes each way. Well, the smaller bridge didn’t work, so what else to do but build bigger??

* Another New Yorker tidbit: From James Surowiecki’s Financial Page, learned the term rent-seeker, describing “a company [that] seeks to manipulate economic conditions rather than actually create value.” Sounds vaguely familiar.

* Finally, began an article in the same New Yorker about elaborate, highly lucrative European olive oil scams. Learned a little about the process of making olive oil, which the author describes as similar to juice extraction. Also learned that olives are closely related to cherries and plums (and mangoes, which the author omitted), all of which are known as drupes. Nice word.

I can’t promise anything, but I had a kernel of an idea today: To blog about everything I learned that day.

Potential feature name: Mepedia.

Stay tuned …

A lot of people are already upset about the so-called cancelation of Halloween in San Francisco, announced first months ago when officials decided to unsanction the annual event in the Castro and move it to the parking lot of the local baseball stadium.

Today, those same officials declared the event dead.

I don’t know. Halloween in SF, meaning getting dressed up and attending a free-for-all public drinking outdoor event was enjoyable for me, oh, the first year I moved here. True, I am somewhat crowd averse, but it wasn’t that. Costumed people are, typically, much better to be around than everyday-dressed people.

But once I heard how many people attend the event (upwards of 300,000), and performed the simple logic that told me most of said crowd isn’t even from SF, on top of the violence and general lameness that mars the event, I decided a party with people I know, or even friends of friends, was much preferred.

Some may see a connection with a recent crackdown on other outdoor, alcohol’d events in the city. But when violence comes to mark any regularly held event, action is necessary. People are abusing a privilege.

In other words, I won’t be shedding any tears over the “loss” of Halloween. I’m more anxious to see what people do costume-wise to mock the whole thing. Is a Bevan Dufty costume in the works?

It should be one word.

I love it when consumer products take you surprise. I sometimes wonder what would’ve happened if there had been no iPhone hoopla, and instead of months of speculation leading up to a sem-anti-climactic unveiling, I had just read about the new product by happenstance in The New York Times.

Which is how I found out about Apple’s latest gem, the newly designed, refurbished, recalibrated, and price-reduced iMac.

What struck me most most is the thinness, the glossy, iBookish screen, and, honestly, the price. I’ve been toying with the idea of purchasing a flat HDTV for my bedroom, where space is a serious issue. I’d use said device simply to watch movies, as I honestly don’t have the time (okay, okay, or the patience) to watch much tube.

Well, pricing on HDTVs isn’t what it should be yet (digital TV units will be 100 percent necessary for consumers to watch television by 2009, as mandated by Congress).

With such an inexpensive iMac, why not just fork over a little extra and have a more-than-TV sitting on top of my bookshelf?

Yes, please.