Here and There

Setting: Late 1970s, Texas:

As a kid, I was always attracted to so-called “freaks of nature.” Looking back, had I been born three-quarters of a century or so earlier, I’m sure I would’ve naïvely been a fan of the traveling carnival, especially the side show, with its bearded ladies and elephant men. Speaking of those great proboscidean creatures, seeing David Lynch’s Elephant Man as a child only served to enhance my love of the odd, the not-everyday. Also, having a copy of The Guinness Book of World Records lying around didn’t detract me one bit. But, I digress…

Setting: This morning, San Francisco:

As I opened a crate of half a dozen eggs, I noticed one of them protruding a little higher than the rest. I pulled it out, and sure enough, it was oblong. I showed it to my girlfriend, who told me to take it away, that it grossed her out. We joked and played a game we often play — suggesting alternative names for our already-named dogs. “Oblong,” I said, pointing to the one with an elongated body we call Switch. Seeing that I wasn’t getting much attention from my audience of one, I headed back to the kitchen to make breakfast.

So, I cracked the egg, and what do you know? A twin! A set of twins! Okay, neat, but it’s happened before, at least a dozen times. On to egg number two.

You guessed it: Twins! Two in a row! That is unprecedented. I announced this event, and received complete disinterest and lack of surprise in return. Oh well, maybe I’m just being a dork. Time for egg three, cracked with the thought that since I had two twins, did I really need more eggs? What is the yolk-to-whites ratio in a set of twins? The yolks themselves are smaller, but surely overall the yolk count is higher. Maybe I’ll settle with three eggs total, instead of four.

Holy crap! A third set of twins! Completely unbelievable and I’m 100 percent certain it has never happened before (delusions of grandeur?). This time, I managed to get a rise: “Take a picture.” Yes, take a picture, write a blog entry. Share.

So here you are. The picture isn’t proof positive, so you’ll just have to make that leap and believe me. And for all you out there wondering why I didn’t press my luck and try for four twins in a row…well, this is not a time to play wildcard with food. Plus, a bird in the hand…

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